“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside,
awakens.” Carl Jung
Leadership begins first on the inside. Until we can learn to lead ourselves effectively, we will never be able to lead others effectively. Inside all of us are false beliefs, attitudes and biases of who we are or what we do. My own personal and professional experiences have proven this to be true. I remain my own leadership learning lab and why I am so passionate about leadership!
We are all Leaders, Leadership is a CHOICE
to discover and
serve those who we are meant to serve!
My most difficult leadership challenge has always been attempting to understand and express myself in a coherent and useful way. I suspect I’m not alone.
Why is this so difficult?
We are complex humans first! We all have blind spots, unconscious biases; traumas resulting in a host of beliefs, attitudes and levels of unawareness that adds to our already complicated fast changing world. This knowledge means leadership self-awareness begins when you are seen, heard, understood, and nurtured by you and others.
This requires a coaching conversation that
must start inside!
I am convinced that high achievers, driven by this subconscious urge to succeed in all areas of their life, sometimes at all costs, forget to have this most important leadership conversation needed.
one with yourself!
YOU to radical self-awareness!
The Coaching Nest is my expression and desire to provide high achieving women this mindful space to reflect and grow on their leadership journey. I offer this space as a retreat from the demands of the often harsh chaotic world!
Your journey may have begun with you receiving a promotion or finding yourself ‘leading’ a team, a committee, or a project, mostly due to your expertise. In addition, many of us are parents, and aim to be stellar examples and advocates, yet parenthood is the most difficult and unrecognized leadership position we women encounter!
Parenthood is the first and most
elementary field of action for leadership. And it is through parenting that we learn to exercise,
consciously or unconsciously, many of the leadership basics that make the
difference between success and failure, happiness, or unhappiness both in life
and business. https://www.forbes.com/sites/palomacanterogomez/2019/06/21/the-5-leadership-lessons-that-we-can-learn-from-successful-parenthood/#62e776555637
There are many factors at play and different ways to learn leadership
So does self-awareness perhaps set apart the great leaders from the mediocre, or the downright horrible?
Self-awareness is a reminder to quiet the mind and for me, allows my creative and innovative talents to emerge so I can decide my next course of action. The pause often switches off my critical mind, making space to tap into both my confidence and competence. Despite this process, I am always humbled that there are unexpected forces (I refer to this as synchronicity) that sometimes provide solutions and/ or resources needed to fulfill or progress my vision and goals. I am always grateful for these gifts. I can list many and tend to tell my stories not to say “look at me” but with hope my narratives connect you to your own brilliance!
I hope you too will be inspired to pause, reflect, and move toward a vision or goal that may not have yet emerged!
Last week I attended the HRPA2020, Canada’s Largest Annual HR Conference and Trade Show in Toronto. Despite my already full schedule, I felt a last minute pull to attend. I trusted that the event presentations would enrich my CALM Power Coaching Program. My key questions were surrounding the topics of coaching, mindfulness, empathy and psychological safety and of course building leadership self- awareness.
Initially the Return of Investment felt too high, yet, I felt such a pull that I trusted I was meant to go! Once I let go, and made the decision to say "yes", alternatives and options began to emerge and I was able to attend!
During the conference, I met a Consultant; we casually both asked the question, “What is the most important leadership competency, and how do we grow it personally and professionally?”
As if we read each other’s minds, we agreed on self-awareness, yet agility and adaptability were a close second.
After 2 days of listening to many presentations, remaining super curious and additional informal conversations, self- awareness appears to be a pivotal competency in career and leadership mastery, yet is a major struggle in today’s world!
We both agreed making space to attend the conference and the investment to leave our cities when we were already time crunched was difficult. I'm glad I paused, and still feeling inspired, enriched and rejuvenated by the conference!
Yet, how do you focus, and make leadership
decisions with so many competing tasks and choices?
My coaching conversations allow you and those you serve to pause and ask yourself questions and mindfully listen. Creating coaching space is where and how your unique future will be ready to unfold! It begins with you trusting yourself first and letting go of what you think is going to happen!
We have so many opportunities and so many distractions that it is imperative that we train ourselves to take that breath, pause and decide on our next moves.
Make space for learning, synthesizing and integrating.
The importance of creating this space for pausing and having these important conversations is key to my role as a Leadership Coach for Women. I've revisited my CALM Power coaching course in the past 3 months after years of coaching women struggling with finding their overall and everyday FOCUS! I often start with bringing awareness to their unique why and purpose. CALM Power examines and integrates purpose as an important element to your self-awareness and FOCUS but also other elements are considered. We reflect and discover your gifts, talents, strengths, values and so much more! All the elements that make you-YOU, the EMERGING LEADER!
Many of my clients are high achievers who are struggling to sustain being the key expert; this is both their comfort zone and wiring. Even if ready to change, they often lack the support to transition into a more coaching and leadership mindset. Does this sound like you? Here is a definition of CALM Power...
What is CALM Power™?
CALM Power™ (Career and Leadership Mastery Power) allows you to lead with a bold expression of your career and leadership competencies, clearly and consistently which flows into your trusted Leadership Presence and ways of communicating with your ideal client. It is your strong centering force which helps you express your energy at work, the community, the world so that you live with Fulfillment, Freedom, Focus and Financial Prosperity. It is your unique path of clarity that is much broader; it pervades your entire life and builds your strength, stamina and resiliency despite constant change. It creates your Leadership Presence from your Radical Self-Awareness created in your 12 weeks of CALM Power!
CALM Power leaders are, conscious, self-aware, with the bonus of being authentic, adaptable and trust-worthy. All us leaders are imperfect human beings but we can all aspire to be self-aware leaders at home, work and our communities, the CALM Power WAY!
Self-awareness can only begin with you!
According to Dr. Laura Belsten, a formal definition of Self-Awareness is:
Noticing and being able to label your feelings, emotions, “gut-level” instincts or reactions; being able to connect these to their source; recognizing their effects on your mind and your body; using your feelings as a valuable source of insight and information about yourself, others and the situations around you.
People with this competence:
- Know which emotions they are feeling and why
- Realize, in the moment, the links between their feelings and what they think, do and say
- Recognize how their feelings affect their performance and are able to articulate their feelings and appropriately express them
- Can tell – in the moment – when they are getting upset
People lacking this competence:
- May receive messages from their bodies such as chronic headaches, lower back pain, neck or shoulder pain, heart racing, sweaty palms, anxiety attacks or other signals, but generally don’t pay attention to these signals or connect them to their source, to what’s causing these physical symptoms
- Fail to gain insight and information from what their bodies might be trying to tell them
- Get irritated, frustrated or angry easily, causing them to treat people in an abrasive way and often feel stressed and out of balance in terms of their work life, health and family
The single biggest competitive advantage in business and life is the awareness, encouragement, ability and belief that you and other leaders can model a leadership presence that is focused on pausing and listening to both the inside and outside factors of your environment, so you bring to others what I call a Leadership Presence based on your own unique CALM Power!
Your Leadership Presence may be the catalyst that is needed to bring new insights, confidence and competence to a question, crisis, unexpected change or need in your or an others business and life, so that your mission or vision can EMERGE Stronger and faster!
Without self-awareness you are often not developing your Leadership Presence based on the competence or confidence that I know is already inside YOU! You owe it to yourself and the world to be more fully conscious and go beyond your current biases, busyness and fears! Slow down, join The CALM Power Movement to be the leader that tomorrow needs!
Here are a few development tips to start your Self-Awareness Habit
- Regularly check in on your feelings. During the course of the day, schedule brief but frequent check–ins on your emotional state as well as what your body might be feeling or trying to tell you
- If you find yourself clenching your teeth, tensing your shoulders, feeling worn out or worn down, stop and ask yourself what your body is trying to tell you – are you feeling strained? Stressed? Anxious? Fearful? Overwhelmed? Discouraged? Burned out?
- Name your emotions and connect them specifically to a source or to a situation, concern, or issue “Listen” to what your emotions might be telling you in that moment. Use the information that bubbles up from inside, listen to your intuition to gain insight that could guide you in dealing with the issue or challenge.
- Take the time to be introspective, to listen to that quiet inner voice, by putting aside some of your goal-oriented activities and taking long walks, know your core values, and especially stop thinking of your emotions as irrelevant or messy. Our emotions are an essential source of valuable information.
So how could you go deeper?
I would love to invite you to
LEAD -IN To CALM Power
“Your Powerful Leadership Presence”
The first Cohort begins Monday, March 30th, 2020 @7:00-8:30 PM AST
- This coaching program is delivered in a 12 week, self-paced and interactive online format with 90-minute Group Coaching Sessions and a self-directed coaching journal!
- There are 4 modules, Fulfillment, Freedom, Focus and Finance which include specific topics, assessments and journal exercises!
All this will be integrated using mindfulness and nature for both focus and innovation + a half way retreat and optional end retreat
with a bonus wing - Forgiveness in
You will be invited to show up
Lead-In™ to CALM Power™ Coaching Circles…
Capped at 10 for each cohort, the circles will be a safe, compassionate non-judgmental space to explore and begin your self-awareness journey to Career and Leadership Mastery Power (CALM)
You will leave CALM Power with a deep understanding of yourself and a powerful personal and leadership development plan (suitable for both entrepreneurial and organizational leaders) confirmed by your brand 360 and supported by your group and coach!
When you’re ready to LEAD-IN to CALM Power I will be honored to hold a space for you!!
Please connect with me directly to ensure this is the program FOR YOU!
Please email me at Shelley@shelleycox.ca
For further details check out https://thecoachingnest.ca/halifax-leadership-and-career-coaching-services/
Registration is $497CDN + HST.