Pause for Accurate Self-Assessment

Copy of BREATHING CALM INTO BUSINESS via Shelley Cox, CEO & Founder of (1)


Welcome to 2023!

For many years now, I’ve advocated for a leadership style that is about simplifying, letting go, and just being, all without sacrificing ambition. To embody this leaderly essence, we are invited to PAUSE and make self-awareness and accurate self-assessment a priority for YOU and those you lead. Coaching allows us as a partnership and team to deeply listen to each other while we thrive in this unpredictable and volatile world.

I invite you to practice mindfulness as a centering place to slow down and define leadership success based on your own beliefs, values, etc. This grounding leads to Coaching and Leadership Mastery that is based on Presence. When we are present with another, we are deeply listening (consciously) beyond our own pre-conceptions and old ways of thinking.  We attempt to rise above our biases and conditions. We begin to trust that a larger energy will help support our change. This transformation only happens with taking the time to get to know yourself and those you lead. This article addresses a key competency called Accurate Self- Assessment, an inner awareness of our strengths and limitations. As leaders and coaches we begin here, inviting a mindful PAUSE and continue to build mastery through experience, reflection, and of course having a coach you can partner with that promises you will be seen, heard, and understood! 

To embody this essence, we are invited to PAUSE and make self-awareness and accurate self-assessment a priority for YOU and those you lead!

A great start is the Johari Window.

A key leadership and coaching competency of accurate self-assessment uses the Johari window to reinforce an inner awareness of our strengths and limitations. As leaders and coaches, we begin here and continue to build mastery through experience, reflection and growth!!

These experiences come from all happenings and circumstances!

For me it’s been one foot on the gas and another on the brake, as I bumped into my own blindspots and places of unknowns especially in 2022.

Am I seeing things accurately? How will I know?

My choice was to go deeper, reconnect and trust my resilience and remain open to feedback.  I am no stranger to adversity and “niggling” aches and pains from a previous childhood accident. As a result, I am conscious of living a healthy and active lifestyle.   Yet, after some unexpected injuries, on top of old wounds, I found myself having to navigate a very complex healthcare system when the "niggling" pain was dialed into persistent pain and some other health complications. I felt confused, disorientated, and anxious. I was never so grateful for spending the last 15 years of my life practicing mindful coaching as a habit! I’m not saying perfectly, and I’m sure at times I am/was the exact opposite of representing either, yet I never gave up this endeavour. It remains an expression of my purpose and deepens as I deepen. This experience unexpectedly tossed me into unknown space(s). Yes, I am recovering but still must change many movement habits, along with navigating and advocating for myself. It’s tough! It's no different then us women navigating existing patriarchal systems. I invite you to rest mindfully and get up again, that's been my recipe!

What's your way?

 I continue to take a coach approach, stay present, ask questions, and believe we are all worth every ounce of energy it takes! I invite you to practice loving kindness towards yourself and others!

During this time of adversity, the hustle-based message prevalent in the business world clashed with my purpose and values! I appreciated this reminder to remain a purpose centered business.  Yet, none of us are immune to burnout and our own limits, especially if we are those who deeply care about humanity.

I am even more convinced that our world needs to turn toward each other and have embodied, vulnerable coaching conversations.  We need love!

Resilience is vital to navigating these times.  If I get tired, I will continue to invite in and strengthen the next generation of emerging leaders like you!  All of our generational diverse and innovative ideas are so needed.  Don’t let anything stop us!

I reiterate:

What could stop us is the lack of loving kindness and not letting go of our individual and systematic trauma.

The patriarchy needs both men and women leaders to remain in conversation to increase systemic awareness and accurate self-assessment, this starts with ourselves!

Compassionate, conscious, curious, mindful leaders, at any level are vital if we are to see any system changes.

Despite all the crazy in the world I always keep faith and hope alive in my heart and soul.


We all need feedback to grow!

The JOHARI window can be a basis for this.

Feedback decreases our blindspots, and leads to a process of self-disclosure to decrease our façades by sharing the things that we are potentially scared or ashamed of. That's the whole thing, that's the whole magic. Feedback gives you power if done in a safe and productive way!

Feedback is the water and soil of your emerging leadership.

The "Johari Window" was coined by the psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955, and is a simple visual illustration that examines your personality to improve the understanding between people. I will go though the basics and will urge you to explore this deeper, especially quadrant four.  I like that it can provide a framework for seeking feedback to enhance and deepen your consciousness.

Now, just as a little warning. If this tool triggers traumas that require a deeper conversation on topics that are beyond the coaching scope, I trust you will find a suitable professional, and I hold yourself capable to reach out for those services.  I want you to feel safe, as well as seen, heard, and understood.  So here is the Johari Window basics: I invite you to remember we are all imperfect and not in need of fixing! How could you approach this exercise with a growth mindset, that all experiences are about learning.

Click here for the outline of the Johari Window

Some of the key competencies to take from this are:

  • Being reflective and learning from experience.
  • Knowing your capabilities; know what you can do and what you can’t do.
  • Being open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development.
  • Asking for help from others who might have more experience, knowledge, or ability.
  • Having the ability to identify and target areas for improvement and change. Demonstrate a desire to learn and grow, a Growth Mindset

Here at the Coaching Nest, we invite all clients to receive feedback. I offer a coach approach to this process, including exploring your thoughts and beliefs around feedback. It’s a gift no matter the delivery or content. We learn just as much about the person delivering as the message given to us! We are all imperfect, so turning toward one another is the only way we will grow.

To take this further, download this exercise. Begin with yourself!  To our continued growth!

Click here for an accurate self-assessment exercise!

CALM Power™ (Career and Leadership Mastery) will provide you with the reflective coaching time and guidance to do just that!  

Consider joining the next cohort of my CALM Power™ Coaching Group–

If you feel that I could help or support you and your team in any other way, do not hesitate to contact me here:



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