DAY 8: Self-Talk: Antagonist or Ally?

What have you been telling yourself lately?

Self-talk is very revealing! The little voice that sits on your shoulder and whispers into your ear can be either an antagonist or an ally. What you tell yourself goes immediately to your subconscious where it increases or decreases your anger, frustration or other emotions.

Repeated negative self-talk leads to exaggerated and irrational thinking…

Directions: Make a check in the left-hand column next to any of the following statements you have said to yourself lately.

__ They always take me for granted. _______________________________________________

__ I’m always late. ______________________________________________________________

__ No one ever helps me. ________________________________________________________

__ Everyone gets paid more than I do. ______________________________________________

__ No one listens to me. _________________________________________________________

__ It’ll always be this way. _______________________________________________________

__ Everything I do gets messed up. ________________________________________________

__ I never get the credit I deserve. _________________________________________________

__ They don’t appreciate how hard I work/how much I care. ____________________________

Other: _____________________________________________________________________

Now that you are more aware of your self-talk, ask yourself why you say those things?

  • To the right of each remark you checked, list some questions that you could ask to help you change to become less negative. (Example: if you are late, why are you late? Are you only late to meetings? (Be as specific as possible). 
  • Also list the things you can do to change the situation. (Example: if you feel your work is not appreciated, could you create a list of accomplishments and bring them in to a meeting with your supervisor? If someone else is taking credit for your work, what can you do to become more assertive? (Again, be as specific as possible.) For each negative message you receive from your inner antagonist, craft a positive “ally” message to replace the negative one.

Whatever we focus on is what we attract. If we think in the negative, we’ll attract the negative, but most importantly, if we think in the positive, we’ll attract the positive

How can you be your own best ally?

  • Feel free to connect with me if you are interested in receiving your own SEIP (Social and Emotional Intelligence Profile). This will be delivered online and administered electronically to be quick, easy to use, and easy to understand. This is an assessment report describing, in behavioral terms, what Social and Emotional Intelligence skills look like. It will show when an individual has them and when he or she does not.  You will discover the 26 Emotional Intelligence Competencies and which ones are most important for your leadership journey! If you or one of your team is interested in this, I would love to discuss this with you! 

Tool attributed to Dr. Laura Belsten and ISEI®

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